Tuesday, September 30, 2014

3 days past 40 weeks

I am loved and supported 
I am lucky to have this time off
I love going for walks 

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Warm up contractions, aka Braxton Hicks

One week due and I have a heavy heart. Not because of baby, baby is the thrill and joy of my life. 

He is incapable of not getting sloppy drunk. Promises broken. Why do I believe him again and again. He wants and loves this unborn baby but his behavior the last two weeks has been spotty, dare i say bipolar? One level to the next, even threatening divorce while jn a fight, granted he was, of course, drunk. But not even an apology for that or for his behavior. I offered apologies and he just sat there and took them like he was served his justice. And I sit here quietly crying in bed, one week due, his cousin sleeping in the guest/baby room (surprise! He's spending the night he tells you as he steers your drunk husband into the house because he's too drunk to walk by himself) whom I have to take to the airport tomorrow morning (surprise! His flight leaves at 9 am, hope that's ok) oh but only after you take him to your inlaws first to get his luggage (surprise! You need to set your alarm and wake everyone up cause they're drunk and don't worry about sleeping jn or enjoying your Sunday morning!) Better get some rest! 

Friday, September 5, 2014

Friday myday

House to myself. Husband away. 3 weeks to go until first little joy comes potentially rushing into our lives. Remembering who I am. Retreating to self so I can be myself. Content knowing I have people to surround myself when needed. Beauty in life.