The lights in the middle of a NY night

The sound of the bass at 1 am 

The feeling of freedom from the world and pain

These never go away

Even at thirty three

San Diego

**originally tried to publish June 17 but didn't realize it never uploaded. 

This is all I want to remember from this trip when I look back. 

Happy Father's Day!

I think we have the ability to intonate our lives. I haven't figured out how to do so with mine. 

I discovered the song Lujon by Henry Mancini, my new obsession. 

I had time to contemplate and remind myself of who I am. 

I am blessed with a darling husband and a child filled with joy. 

---

I am sick of pretending to be someone I am not for money. I try to be more of it and become less of me. Then I feel less alive and more dead. Lord god help me to find a way to not just support my family but also to thrive. 

June, the bug, Brown

The whole world is inside her. In her eyes, the Universe stares back at me. Like a satellite image of the depths of space, I peer at the infinite in awe and fear. The beauty of parenthood is its fragility, is its madness, is its beauty, is its fragility, is its madness. I wonder ever day at you. Like a stargazer before the grandest night sky. I fear you, losing you, more than I fear you losing me. I have to have you in my life in a way I've never known I had to have something in my life. You. You. You. 

In her eyes, the Universe. 

Travel work etc

Hotel room to myself 

Loving my husband for taking care of our baby so well

The weather here is beautiful 

I am learning about the world every trip I take and with every conversation I have (or listen in on)   

Oh and my eye swelled up last night and I broke out in hives. It was after all the stores had closed and I went to a liquor store and found Benadryl. That was fun.